Bus Gamer 03 - I faked every blog!
One of the really great things about this short - I mean, smaller than average - I mean, it’s still a good size - series is that it flaunts the usual anime conventions in favor of a more cutting-edge program.
Coherent story? No way!
Pacing? Yawn!
Character development? Who needs it!
Memorable ending? Yeah, right!
Part of me feels like the writing can’t possibly be this bad. There have to be more episodes than just three, right? Right?! But no. It really is this bad. And it really does have an ending that’s got this level of SUCK.
We start things off by jumping right to the next game, no explanation of what happened with the she-cop, no information about the match number we’re up to. There’s some new rules, apparently, but we don’t need to hear about those. Oh, and the game takes place in a crowded beer garden.
Best scene in this episode comes at about 4:30 in, as our three dudes are sitting around talking about the day’s match. Some of the rules have changes and blahblahblah, but as Tortured Ginger Bishie explains: the ones who are the home team have the home ground advantage. DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN…wait…wtf? This unnecessary and undramatic conversation is followed by very dramatic percussion and very, very dramatic cuts to each of the dudes’ faces.
Who writes this stuff? Where are their awards?
The cop is there, so we finally learn that the boys…ran away from her. That’s it. She was too pathetic to actually do her job, so now she’s drowning her sorrow in alcohol. Oh, but she has the gun still. Black Hair No Eyes uses it, his big manly hand wrapped around her small feminine one. Ooooh, so sexy!
So the boys win, of course. And it turns out the police chief is in on the gaming, but this is glossed over so quickly it hardly matters. The lady cop is reassigned to the archives division. Her coworkers are two weird guys and no doubt she’ll spend the rest of her career being assaulted by those creepsters - which is no less than she deserves, being both a woman and a failure.
Then the boys go out to eat, because Men Like Food. The episode had the opportunity to be interesting when Tortured Ginger Bishie held the gun to Loudmouth Blonde Virgin’s head, but this is predictably wasted. Instead, what we get is a lot of pseudo-philosophical crap that has no base in the plot and absolutely no business coming out of the mouths of these characters. Yuck.
Plenty of other questions unanswered. First and foremost: do they win it? Who knows. The show ends with a dull montage of the three dudes living their sad, normal lives. Black Hair No Eyes is in construction, because he’s a monkey with no brain. Tortured Ginger Bishie is a bartender at a gay bar, because he’s just so pretty. Loudmouth Blonde Virgin works at a mini-mart and he’s barely qualified for that - but, darn it, he tries his virgin best!
Bus Gamer is a lot like Loudmouth Blonde Virgin: it tries to be cool, but it’s no fun to look at or pay attention to and its only real skill is being unintentionally comical. Its Man Quotient should be way up there, but with men like Golgo 13 loosed on the population, these guys just look like whiny bitches.
And they’re not even that pretty.
