Since the next episode is due out so soon, and I just got around to watching it today, I wasn’t going to bother even blogging this one. But I feel compelled now, after reading so many comments on the MAL boards about how “moe” and “cute” C.C. is now, as opposed to her “badass” old self. If nine pages of comments on an online forum can be taken as indicative of general opinion, the new C.C. is widely adored.

I’ve spoken before about my frustration with female characters in various anime series, and I’ll speak of it again and again for as long as I continue watch anime. But this new incarnation of our cold, green-haired Geeser is one of the models that I have the most problems with. She used to be strong, more powerful even than our hero Lulu, and she used to be an essential part of his scheming and planning, hunted by his enemies. Now she’s a simpering, cowering child, stripped of all agency, her disgustingly feeble mewling explained away by some sob-story background about her childhood centuries ago before she got all immortal and capable.

Excuse me while I barf up my insides.

If the former C.C. was like a tiger, caged but barely restrained, the new one is a puppy. And, like a puppy, she can’t take care of herself. She’s adorable in her neediness. She needs a master to latch on to, someone to throw her a few scraps of affection now and then, someone that can kick her when he’s mad but trust that she’ll scamper back to his side a moment later. Literally.

She cowers and hides when Lulu enters a room, cowers and hides when the TV turns on, cowers and hides when spoken to. C.C. has become a model of female submission and servitude - and in turn the poster child for a twisted, backward brand of beauty some people think is “moe.” And thank goodness. One thing Lulu definitely needed more of was people who flinch when he speaks to them and rush to fulfill his every desire.

OK, sure, with the backstory they’ve cooked up for her, it makes sense that she would be so jumpy and so out of her mind with fear. Sort of. One could also argue that an urchin with her background would learn to adapt and survive, would become hardened instead of weak, cunning instead of pathetic. But the Geese team opted not to take that road. Instead, they’ve stripped her of her memories, of her recent history, and re-infantlized her. Instead, she’s been ushered out of Lulu’s ranks and into a cage, sheltered from the world in his private quarters for her own good.

But who’s around to keep her safe from Lulu and his bipolar mood swings? When he’s up, she gets to have pizza. When he’s down, she gets smacked in the face. (But the bitch deserved it! He didn’t want any damn pizza!) Nevermind that Lulu promised to keep her safe from the Big Bag World, she’s no good to anyone except as a punching bag and fulfills that purpose very well. Bonus: she doesn’t forget to thank her abuser for the abuse. I particularly enjoyed her sweet, adoring smile as their roles as reversed and suddenly she’s the one who needs to comfort him. Lulu’s selfishness is nothing new and it’s part of what makes him such a fun, villainous hero, but this episode was rather horrifying. I at least expected an apology. (I’d like to see him try that crap with the old C.C. I’d like to see him cry as she tore off his arm and then lose control of his bowels as she beat him to death with it.)

And what does C.C. want as a reward for her good behavior? Friends. Which, of course, Lulu can’t give to her because he can’t let her leave the room because how is he going to explain that one? The mention of friends and needing someone to rely on reminds him of Susucku, though, so I guess she’s not completely worthless after all. He puts a band-aid on her Wound Of Epic Bleeding and life goes merrily on.

Perhaps worst of all, the series ED seems to suggest that C.C. will somehow be Lulu’s saving - or at least his support when his empire comes crashing down. Blech. Twisting around this spineless characterization into something supposedly heroic or nurturing is just insulting. Can’t she have a softer side with sacrificing all of her strength?

…What? No? Oh. Um. Well then, show us your tits!

Code Geese’s ladies have never really been anything to write home about in terms of substance, but now I’m sad to say that their ranks are thinning at an alarming rate. Who’s left to be the decent female character? Cornelia? Nope. She’s tied up in some crazy BDSM rig. Villetta? Meh. Nunnally? She’s about as disempowered as you could get and not be a vegetable. There’s that one chick in the Black Knights who’s not a total waste, but even she is getting side-tracked now with her crush on Toudou.

I never thought I would sink to this low, but it seems like the best option left is…gag…Kallen. Yes, the hyper-sexed caricature of womanhood has suddenly become the one with the most potential. On the positive side, though, she can kick some serious ass (if her opponent is a nancy-boy that refuses to fight back).

Next week: probably my favorite stupid, grossly over-used anime cliche ever…CROWS! Bring it on, Geese!

This episode confirms my love of Lelouch: not because he’s a CLAMP noodle boy, not because he’s oh-so-pretty, but because he is one hell of a charismatic mastermind and easily one of the best anti-heroes to come out of recent seasons. Maybe the best.

Miles ahead of that notebook-wielding douchebag. What was his name again?

The beginning of this episode had a bit of the Jack Bauer syndrome going on. As in, “if everybody listened to Jack, the terrorists would be taken cared of in two hours.” Except in Code Geese’s case, it’s “if nobody listened to Lulu’s empty promises, they wouldn’t get into so much trouble.”

Though he has the guy at gunpoint, Rolo doesn’t blow Lulu’s brains all over the pretty computers. Nope. Instead, Lulu promises to get C.C. where Rolo can nab her and Rolo…believes him. Awww. So cute, those huge mistakes.

Blah blah blah, things happen, fast forward to the mecha fighting. The Britannians get their pasty white butts handed to them by Lulu and his cunning plan, death abounds (presumably). But then…oh no! Rolo’s on the scene (and pissed) and prepared to kill Lulu…!

The ultimate victim this week is Rolo, who took a break from being a bad-ass killer to be…a kid. A sad, lonely kid, who’s never had a home or a family and who’s been exploited his whole life for his Geese power. (Do I hear violins…?)

But Lulu has done what he’s always done, and what makes him so brilliantly dark: he’s manipulated the feelings of those around him in his favor, without directly relying on his Geese. In this case, he’s saved Rolo and Geesed a Britannian into firing at him when he’s down, this giving Rolo a few moments to reflect on his relationship with his “brother” and to do what we might call “the right thing.” This, of course, is only right if Lulu actually means all the things he’s saying about being brothers and being there for each other and blah blah blah feel good. And, of course, he doesn’t.

Like so many Elevens last season, Rolo, wanting desperately to believe in his brother, steps right into Lulu’s trap. As Lulu intended, as he anticipated and planned for.

Scene. Curtain. Bow. Goodnight!

Next time: the best part about this episode (no Susucku) comes to an end. Shucks!

One of the really great things about this short - I mean, smaller than average - I mean, it’s still a good size - series is that it flaunts the usual anime conventions in favor of a more cutting-edge program.

Coherent story? No way!
Pacing? Yawn!
Character development? Who needs it!
Memorable ending? Yeah, right!

Part of me feels like the writing can’t possibly be this bad. There have to be more episodes than just three, right? Right?! But no. It really is this bad. And it really does have an ending that’s got this level of SUCK.

We start things off by jumping right to the next game, no explanation of what happened with the she-cop, no information about the match number we’re up to. There’s some new rules, apparently, but we don’t need to hear about those. Oh, and the game takes place in a crowded beer garden.

Best scene in this episode comes at about 4:30 in, as our three dudes are sitting around talking about the day’s match. Some of the rules have changes and blahblahblah, but as Tortured Ginger Bishie explains: the ones who are the home team have the home ground advantage. DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN…wait…wtf? This unnecessary and undramatic conversation is followed by very dramatic percussion and very, very dramatic cuts to each of the dudes’ faces.

Who writes this stuff? Where are their awards?

The cop is there, so we finally learn that the boys…ran away from her. That’s it. She was too pathetic to actually do her job, so now she’s drowning her sorrow in alcohol. Oh, but she has the gun still. Black Hair No Eyes uses it, his big manly hand wrapped around her small feminine one. Ooooh, so sexy!

So the boys win, of course. And it turns out the police chief is in on the gaming, but this is glossed over so quickly it hardly matters. The lady cop is reassigned to the archives division. Her coworkers are two weird guys and no doubt she’ll spend the rest of her career being assaulted by those creepsters - which is no less than she deserves, being both a woman and a failure.

Then the boys go out to eat, because Men Like Food. The episode had the opportunity to be interesting when Tortured Ginger Bishie held the gun to Loudmouth Blonde Virgin’s head, but this is predictably wasted. Instead, what we get is a lot of pseudo-philosophical crap that has no base in the plot and absolutely no business coming out of the mouths of these characters. Yuck.

Plenty of other questions unanswered. First and foremost: do they win it? Who knows. The show ends with a dull montage of the three dudes living their sad, normal lives. Black Hair No Eyes is in construction, because he’s a monkey with no brain. Tortured Ginger Bishie is a bartender at a gay bar, because he’s just so pretty. Loudmouth Blonde Virgin works at a mini-mart and he’s barely qualified for that - but, darn it, he tries his virgin best!

Bus Gamer is a lot like Loudmouth Blonde Virgin: it tries to be cool, but it’s no fun to look at or pay attention to and its only real skill is being unintentionally comical. Its Man Quotient should be way up there, but with men like Golgo 13 loosed on the population, these guys just look like whiny bitches.

And they’re not even that pretty.

This is a late reaction, due to my crazy end-of-semester schedule. I’m happy to report, though, that I am now completely finished with my first year of graduate school and free to devote myself to Lulu. (He Geesed me, so I’d say that. Naughty boy.)

If I lapse into a discussion of Cooper’s Last of the Mohicans, please forgive me. My brains are still a little mushy.

Last week’s preview scenes were a study in misdirection, as I found out when I watched episode 3. It’s too bad, really. I had a whole angry rant (Why Can’t Japanese Animators Figure Out How Horses Move?) prepared and now I don’t get to use it. Surely there will be other opportunities.

Well. Until then…

This week was not all about baking and ponies, as I had originally thought - not literally, anyway. In this case, “baking” is metaphorical for the ongoing intrigue (as in, they’re cooking up something good!) and Rolo is the “pony”…because he’s so long-legged and pretty. And he probably bites.

Turns out sweet little Rolo is actually pretty sweet, as villains go. Who knew under that goofy exterior he could be so badass? I had no idea and it was a very pleasant surprise.

Rolo is the sinister government agent who replaced sweet, blind Nunnally. Also: he’s a stone-cold killer who can stop time to facilitate his killing. OMG! I love this guy!

Naturally, it just wouldn’t be Code Geese without Lulu pulling his tricks. This episode finds our anti-hero at the mall, shopping. And tricking that dumb girl, which is always good for a laugh. If that doesn’t send shivers down your spine, I don’t know what will.

OK, OK, it’s not all so fluffy. He sneaks out of the dressing room and phones in a bomb threat. Mass panic. Screaming women. Men with guns. Y’know, all that stuff that allows Lulu to feed on the weak and set his cunning plans into motion.

This time was no exception, except my new BFF Rolo showed up, looking all fierce and killer-y. He pulled his magic on a very surprised Lulu (watching Lulu’s plans fail is as much fun as watching him succeed) and then…pulled the trigger, shooting Lulu in the head!!!!!

No, of course not, but still a neat little scene.

Episode ends as my favorite Chinese Guy With Sword starts to kick ass and take names. No, that’s ridiculous, he doesn’t have time to take names and he wouldn’t care to, even if he did have the time. No way, this guy is all about cutting people up into itty bitty pieces. Rock on!

Next time: Chinese Guy With Sword makes a meat stew out of the cast of Code Geese. Also, a brotherly…pillow…fight?

PS. flowers & sausages

Code Geass - or Code Geese or Code Gayass or Code Greatass, whatever your flavor of pet name happens to be - knows how to make my little heart skip a few beats. Oh, you naughty series, you had me going with that first episode!

But Code Geass doesn’t abuse its fans. It doesn’t treat us like we’re idiots (ahem) and it doesn’t revel in keeping us in the dark (ahem ahem). No sir. Code Geass raises questions and then…gasp! Answers them.

Question 1: What the crap happened with Lulu and Susucku?!

Answer: They both shoot! And miss. Not by a lot, but nobody gets hurts. OK, a little predictable, but at least now we know.

Less predictably, Suck-kun grows a pair and drags Lulu around by the hair a little. Nice touch, kid.

Question 2: Why didn’t he remember anything?!

Answer: The emperor has the geese! IN BOTH EYES! omgwtfbbq.

Question 3: When are Lulu and Kallen going to hook up?!

Answer: Not yet.

Question 4: Why did they let Susucku into the most elite blah-blah-blah squad? Seriously. He’s lame and useless and still in high school.

Answer: Because he does that thing with his tongue. Also, because the other pilots will be more tractable if they have a piece of fresh meat to toy with. So I assume. I dunno. The emperor rolled over pretty fast on that one.

Question 5: What’s the deal with the brother?!

Answer: He’s not really Lulu’s brother. Of course. Actually…HE’S GOT THE GEESE TOO! Oh my goodness. Are they putting this stuff in the water or what?

Question 6: Hey…that cool guy with the sword isn’t going to die, right? Right?

Answer: WHAT! HEY! What do you mean the episode is over?!

Next time: Jewelry, girls, cooking and…ponies. This show is so hardcore.

If you believe what the WordPress spambots say about it, I’m a middle-aged man with a severe erectile disfunction problem.

Well joke’s on you, bots! My Manly Quotient has shot way through the roof since I started my Bus Gamer injections.

Episode Two provides more of the same as the first installment: pretty boys acting angsty and kicking ass. Except for the one that acts like a woman, though even he manages to land a hit. I guess that’s what passes for character development in Bus Gamer.

BG doesn’t waste our time with crap like dialogue and pacing. Why develop in a few well-written conversations what you can get across in a grin and a grunt? Amen, I say. One thing anime has too damn little of is fighting and faux philosophical speeches. DO YOUR BEST!

We flash-forward to the sixth round of competition, which doesn’t go quite as planned. But don’t worry. Our bad boys are still able to swing their cocks around, kick some ass AND save Loudmouth Blonde Virgin.

…Who, P.S., sort of comes up with a sort of good plan - and, more importantly, gets to hold and fire a gun. (He also gets the other boys’ email addresses so they can K.I.T. like B.F.F. Ooooh, manly!)

It’s not all fun and games for our guys, though. A cop - a LADY cop - shows up to ruin all their fun, with her laws and her tits. What a bitch. Can’t three pretty men pal around and beat up thugs without some woman getting all uppity?

Well? Can’t they?

(Tortured Ginger Bishie and Black-Hair-No-Eyes felt left out. Men are such babies.)

Next time: Titties McCop gives it good and hard to our three heroes. OH YEAH!

I think I’ve found my new Moonlight Mile. Pity it’s not longer. I mean bigger. I mean…um…er…

The premise is so easy a caveman could do it: three mismatched bad boys have to work together to play a game orchestrated by bored rich executive. No, it’s not a kinky sexual thing (darn!), it’s a sort of Capture the Flag, only the “flag” is a computer disc with top secret information. With each “round” of play, the prize money goes up, finally ending with a $1 billion purse after 15 rounds.

Naturally, capturing the flag requires lots of beating people with fists, sticks and other assorted weaponry. Ooooh, how wickedly masculine!

How are they going to fit 15 rounds into three episodes? I don’t know and I don’t care. What’s important is there’s more than enough ridiculous manly posturing to go around! And, in the strange and hilarious way of most manly-man action stories, it’s all vaguely homoerotic:

I’m the strongest!
No, I am! RARR!
No, me! *FLEX*
ROAAAARRRR!
GRRR!
*sweat*
*grunt*

Let’s meet the crew, shall we?

Bad Boy #1: Loudmouth Blonde Virgin

This chap is your typical loud, socially unaware goofy kid. He’s the baby of the group, only 17 years old, and he likes plastic models and video games. Of course he does.

He just wants everybody to be friends. He’s not a fighter, he’s the one constantly needing rescue. Also, he’s got some sort of intenstinal thing going on. Very nervous constitution on this one.

Dark backstory: Something to do with a nun? Weird.

Bad Boy #2: Tortured Ginger Bishie

I don’t need anyone. I depend on myself. I am my own support system. I am a lone wolf. I love my independence. I drive women crazy with my aloof nature.

I cry myself to sleep at night because there’s no one alive who will even consider loving me.

You know the type.

Dark backstory: Probably involves a fall from grace, disappointing his sensei, etc. He used to train with a dojo. Also…he used to have glasses. OH THE AGONY OF MY SOUL.

Bad Boy #3: Black-Hair-No-Eyes

This dude is the chain smoking, womanizing bad-ass action hero every man probably wants to be. But wait - there’s a catch. He has no eyes. I mean, he has eyes, but you don’t really ever see them. His long floppy hair covers his eyes 99% of the time.

But he’s too bad-ass to pull it out of the way with one of those namby-pamby hair bands. No sir. He can be blinded by thick silky locks and still hit people in the head with a pipe. Rock on.

Dark backstory: Rich boy who disappointed his father. Refused to get a haircut and was kicked out of the family.

The only woman in the first episode doesn’t have a name. Or a face. How it should be.

Not surprisingly, we see her prancing around Black-Hair-No-Eyes’s apartment and touching his stuff and asking stupid questions.

Also, there’s fighting.

Next time: get those rulers out, boys, we’ll settle this thing once and for all!

So Lulu and the gang are back for another round of stretched-out limbs and mecha, sorry, Nightmare battles. OH BOY! I have to admit, I saw and enjoyed the first season. It felt a bit to me like Death Note, if Death Note hadn’t been so retarded. Death Note done right, if you will. That’s not to say Code Geass wasn’t full of its own little gems, but it is at least able to resist bursting through the doors of Campiness to sing out, “HERE I AAAAAAAM!” (Code Geass just knocks politely.)

After the end of the first season, I was all but wetting my pants for the premier of R2.

One episode in and the new season promises to be…uh…very familiar?

We join sweet little Lulu at school, as he scampers through the halls, outsmarting his scantily-clad gym teacher. Oh, those gym teachers. Off our hero races, joined by his…brother.WTF.

Where did he get a brother? Wasn’t there a sister? What happened to her? And why is he wandering around so happy? What happened to Susucku? (Did you see what I did there? I put SUCK in his name! Ha!) Where’s Kallen? Who got shot? HOW DID THEY SOLVE THAT WHOLE MESS?

Oh, wait. Kallen in a bunny suit. I’ve forgotten all of my questions. Please, Code Geass, continue to spoonfeed me bad anime cliches.

So, with the exception of Kallen show off her goods, it’s pretty much business as usual. Lulu is kicking ass at chess, the Elevens are being mistreated, the Britannians are acting evil. Cue explosions. Yawn.

Enter the Mysterious Chinese Character, accompanying a rather ridiculous parody of a Chinese diplomat. (Oh, you Japs and your racism.) He’s a whiz with a sword and cuts off the guards’ holsters when they tell him he has to hand it over. Haha! I would have prefered if he’d cut their pants off to reveal polka dotted underpants, but there has to be a line somewhere, right?

BUT WAIT. Kallen’s Nightmare is on the scene. I love this gimmick. I love her goofy ass-in-the-air posture. The only thing that could possibly, possibly make it any better is if there was some kind of phallic joystick she had to sit on in order to steer. Hard to believe it was left out. Somebody is sleeping on the job.

Lulu takes a bad fall and even his pointy-faced brother is unable to save him. (You just know if it was Death Note, that would have been a ten minute sequence.) But thank goodness for all concerned, C.C. shows up.

If you don’t see the echo of season one here, you’re a moron, so I won’t even deal with that.

Instead I’ll skip to the part where it looks like Susucku is…heh…sucking. Oooh, I giggled for a good long time over that one. And then, when he…

Hey. Wait a minute.

Where’d he come from? How come he’s alive? How come all three of them made it out alive? What the heck happened? I NEED SOME FREAKING ANSWERS.

Aaaaaand…it’s over.

Are you kidding me?

No. No, Code Geese never kids. That’s how people get hurt.

Next time: Um…Lulu flails his arms around a lot. You know, like always. And Kallen sticks her butt out. This is gonna be good!

P.S. Does anyone else hate the OP and ED as much as I do?

P.P.S. Apologies for the distended images. Just got a new computer and life after ACDSee is proving to be challenging.

I mean, not yet. Not officially. But I’m working on it!

And thus, another season of Victorian Romance draws to a close. Unlike season one, though, there’s no room for a third season - and, really, no need.

Did I absolutely love this finale more than I’ve ever loved any other finale before it? Well…no. But it did fit the series pretty well.

Did I cry a few times and get all gooey inside over the happenings? You bet your sweet ass I did.

How many times did I cry? Let us count them…

#1

After William returns from finally receiving all of the money he will need to secure the South American business venture (98% of it from one man, who previously did not want to invest) he is happy, of course, but he smells a rat. A rat named Hakim. So when he returns home he’s a little upset at being “undermined” but Hakim gently reminds him that it’s not unmanly to seek and receive assistance.

Then they hug and I started to cry. Oh yes. It was adorable. And I laughed through my tears when Hakim joked that he wasn’t ever going to let go of William and give him up to Emma. Oh, you jokester! (He was joking, right?)

#2

Papa Jounes and William share a moment, man to man, business partner to business partner. It’s only a handshake, and William’s wearing gloves which I think dulls the intimacy a bit, but it’s a good start. Maybe in a few more years they’ll be able to embrace awkwardly.

It was enough to make me start up again, at any rate.

#3

The grand finale!

William is late…Emma is not there.

Emma is late…William is not there.

But then! A man, sitting alone! Could it be? COULD IT BE?!

It is!!!

They embrace and it’s beautiful.

I start to sniffle, tears of joy at their happy reunion.

Then William says he loves her.

Then William asks her to marry him.

THEN SHE SAYS YES.

And then…and then…

Bathed in the golden rays of the setting sun, our lovers kiss. And I weep like a little baby.

Final Thoughts (and a Bit of Venting)

I’ve mentioned before that it’s a little funny to me to be so enamored of this series though I don’t generally enjoy Victorian romance novels and I think by the end of this second season, my adoration was beginning to wear just a bit thin. That’s not to say that I didn’t love it - I did - or that I’m not going to buy it as soon as I can - I am - but there is a part of me that cannot help but be disappointed. It’s more the fault of the genre than the fault of the series, but as the series is emulating the genre…well.

One of the things I hate about Victorian heroines is that for the most part things don’t happen for them - things happen to them, things happen around them, but they lack the ability to make things happen for themselves and that sort of passivity is not only boring, I think, but also weak-willed. Emma is no exception. Until this final episode, where she struggled against Hans to go back to her room and retrieve the handkerchief and later ran off by herself to get it, she didn’t really do a whole lot. She didn’t even have very many lines, compared to most of the other characters. No, Emma did a lot of staring wistfully out of windows and looking down at the floor, teary-eyed.

This is part of her character, sure, I get it, but it’s also frustrating as all hell. You love him? Be with him! You want him? Go to him! There are not many things I hate more than people who sit around lamenting the state of their lives without taking an active position to do something.

(Naturally, this is my 21st-century-independent-woman mindset revealing itself, and I can’t deny that this series is a period piece set in a period vastly different from my own reality.)

Another thing that kept me from really adoring the conclusion to this series - and, really, the entire series, because I knew it was coming all along - is the way Emma and William ended up. She assimilates right into his world, starts pumping out babies, and they live happily ever after on their grand estate with servants and gardens and absolutely no passion. The series ends with them standing side by side, smiling serenely, not even touching. This is what they struggled so much for?! This is what I waited for?!

I know it’s sort of a “British” thing to be very aloof and unemotional, and they both try very hard to be proper Victorian Brits, despite the obstacles they faced and overcame. The thing is, though, that they’re not typical Victorian Brits - they faced obstacles and overcame them! They each married far out of their stations and from that marriage should have made a unique, unconventional union. Instead…it strikes me as very blah.

From all this, it sounds as though I didn’t like the series or its ending, and that’s untrue on both counts. I loved it and I loved the ending and I thought it fit very well. Like I said, my problems mostly stem from an aversion to the genre itself.

As an aside…I thought the manga handled everything much better. The anime storyline veered off in a different direction entirely, but it just wasn’t as satisfactory.

And with regards to both of them, I’ll still scratching my head wondering why the hell they didn’t just give England the big F YOU and set sail for America, to start all over together.

Now that would have been a cool story: “Frontier Romance Emma,” hell yeah!